What a whirlwind week it has been for us. Beware, this post could be a "too much info" post, so you choose if you want to read.
2 weeks ago, we got some wonderful news that we were pregnant. Getting pregnant has been a journey for us and so a very nice positive test was a joy to see. We had a miscarriage 2 months prior so we weren't saying anything to anyone for awhile. We have been praying for some time now to have a successful and easy pregnancy and we have also been praying for identical twin boys. I could almost see them this time. Well, the enemy wants us to become super discouraged and he thought he knew how to get us down.
On Monday morning I headed to work as usual. After an hour or so, I started having some significant pain in my gut. I played it off as gas pain, because that is not uncommon for me. It was hard to sit down, but I figured it would pass eventually. The day progressed and I had periods of relief. I was getting concerned though because the pain never moved despite things being on the move in my gut. Well, by late afternoon, I took another stop in the bathroom and things happened smoothly but the pain intensified. I was nauseous from the pain and couldn't focus. I couldn't sit. Finally I said to my coworker that I thought something was seriously wrong and I told her I was pregnant and thought it could be ectopic. Well, she of course told me to go and call my Dr. who fortunately I am able to call on her cell phone since I work with her.
I go and give her a call and she says she wants to see me in her office after I get off work. She wasn't on call or anything, but she knew the urgency of the situation. I called Kevin and told him where I would be going after work so he would have a heads up. I had sent my last baby home, finished up my charting and decided to head out a few minutes early. Monica, whom I was working with ushered me out the door. Well, by this time I was in excrutiating pain. Dr. Biggs graciously met me at her office and investigated things. Sure enough she found just what we expected. Some bleeding and an ectopic pregnancy. She sent me quickly over to the hospital to prep for surgery. Boy what a blessing it was to know I was in good hands, not only was she going to be my surgeon, but my friends were my nurses. I got checked in and went up to our floor. I could barely manage to lay down but I did. I was shaking from the pain at this point.
Well I got whisked off to surgery and put out and woke up to another familiar face. Yeah. A great friend had come and sat with Kevin at the hospital too and that was a great blessing for him. So the outcome of the surgery was that I lost the fallopian tube that the baby was in and then got a rude awaken to what was going on on the other side of my insides. From my appendectomy that I had when I was 17 years old, there was tons of scar tissue and my other fallopian tube was completely useless, so it was removed too. Incase we would want to do IVF some day it would have to be removed. She cleaned up lots of stuff, unattached things that weren't supposed to be attached, drained some cysts, and repaired an umbilical hernia. I was a mess.
This was certainly not the news I wanted to hear upon awakening, but amazingly I had peace. The Holy Spirit just spoke to me and said, "God will make this beautiful." We do not for one minute believe that our current circumstances are "part of God's plan". It is the enemy's plan to try and steal, kill, and destroy. It is a part of living in a fallen world sometimes. But what we do know is that whatever the enemy has intended for harm, God has promised to use for our good. We are going to lean on His promises in this time, not let the enemy have anything to glory in, and press on resting in God. He doesn't want us to work for anything here, but to trust Him and lean on Him and draw closer to Him. He is our Daddy and is the best Daddy in the whole world. He knows the desires of our hearts and we know that only good gifts come from our Father. We have a lot to pray about in this time as we move forward, deciding in the months ahead if we want to pursue IVF or adoption or both. We have a heart for adoption but also have a heart to have another one or two more of our own. God also has the ability to provide me with new Fallopian tubes, so we just have some seeking out of His heart to do. If you would pray with us that we would hear His voice in the coming months, that would be wonderful. We want more than anything for His name to be glorified and for it to be obvious that He has been at work.
He was at work in amazing ways even while the enemy was trying to attack. He provided perfect timing for getting me to the OR, loving knowledgeable people to operate on me and care for me and give up their time for me, a quick recovery, friends that have cared for us and our kids in this process, and amazing peace.
